On that basis, the series from American pay network Starz, which premiered on 22 January, is a rip-roaring success. Full-frontal women, heaving breasts and male backsides, gouged throats, slow-mo showers of CGI blood, beheadings, amputations – the mobs at the Colosseum never had it this good.
Before Spartacus finds a niche on UK television – negotiations are currently taking place, Daily Mail beware! – potential viewers will be well aware from internet rumours and YouTube clips that this is the most explicit, violent etc series ever made for the primetime.
Graphic Novel Style
And yet, a direct descendant of the graphic-novel technology used in the sword-and-sandals movie 300, it rarely rises above cartoon make-believe. Unless viewers have had a very sheltered upbringing, the series is about as believable and shocking as the Black Knight scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
The nudity is also cliched and daft. Enter a Roman senator’s house and here there are naked women writhing about or snogging each other with all the frisson of ornamental houseplants.
Andy Whitfield
Somewhere amid the soft-core romps and horror hackings there’s a truly epic story trying to get out about the Thracian slave who in 73BC turned from gladiator to leader of a 120,000-strong slave army that rocked the Roman empire. But this production is more interested in spectacle than the drama.
Spartacus, a chiselled and wolfish turn from relative newcomer and UK-born Andy Whitfield, is first encountered awaiting his turn in the gladiatorial arena. The story then flashes back to his allying his Thracian village to the army of Roman Legate Glaber (Craig Parker, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Legend of the Seeker).
Final Gladatorial Battle
Bidding farewell to his wife Sura (Erin Cummings, Dollhouse), Spartacus lifts her dress and ties a ribbon round her leg – ‘Keep me close to your thighs.’ Let the silliness commence.
Spartacus is betrayed by Glaber, defies the Roman and ruins his military campaign, only to be retaken by the Legate and lose his wife into slavery.
Cue the final gladiatorial battle featuring the kind of violence Tom and Jerry might have been proud of.
John Hannah and Lucy Lawless
The most interesting moments belong to John Hannah (The Mummy, Four Weddings and a Funeral) as slave-owner Batiatus and the former Warrior Princess Lucy Lawless as his wife, Lucretia. At least they have some story to get their teeth into. Batiatus, having fallen on tough times, buys Spartacus to boost his fortunes.
Sam Raimi has taken time off making more interesting projects, such as Drag Me to Hell and Spider-Man, to help exec-produce this. But sadly Spartacus is so determined to flaunt its tit-and-bum, blood-and-guts cred that it rarely engages.
Blood-spattered
Character-driven it ain’t, and the whole artifice of the style – blood even spatters the camera lens – keeps the viewer at arm’s length by reminding everyone it's all make-believe. The mix of English, American, Scottish and Aussie accents doesn’t help.
Every age gets the Spartacus it deserves. Stanley Kubrick’s 1960 effort starring Kirk Douglas, Lawrence Olivier, Tony Curtis, Charles Laughton and Jean Simmons had its share of quiffs and slaves wearing wristwatches, but it was a stirring drama told on a huge scale.
Spartacus Second Season
In the British sitcom Up Pompeii, Frankie Howerd’s Lurcio used to implore viewers to, ‘Titter ye not,’ but it’s hard to do anything else watching Spurtacus.
Nevertheless, Starz is delighted with it and has reportedly commissioned a second season, Spartacus: Vengeance.
Praemonitus, praemunitus, as they used to say – forewarned, forearmed.
Spartacus: Blood and Sand is on Starz on Fridays at 10pm and available on-demand
- Manu Bennett ... Crixus
- Peter Mensah ... Doctore
- Nick Tarabay ... Ashur
- Viva Bianca ... Ilithyia
- Lesley-Ann Brandt ... Naevia
- Jai Courtney ... Varro
- Erin Cummings ... Sura
- Andy Whitfield ... Spartacus
- John Hannah ... Batiatus
- Lucy Lawless ... Lucretia
- Craig Parker ... Glaber
- Eka Darville ... Pietros
- Ande Cunningham ... Duro
Robin Jarossi - London-based journalist and editor specialising in TV, sport and books. I was the editor of 'Cable Guide' and have worked at 'Radio ...
